Here We Are
by Blue Angel 1245
Summary: Botan and Yusuke have an affair while he is in Makai. Will she be able to let him go? Please Review! :o


Here is a Botan/ Yusuke fic Set to Gloria Estefan's "Here we are" I hope you all enjoy it.

I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or The song. I just wrote this for my own amusment.

Lyrics are in italics.

He was in Makai for about a year when it happened. Botan had been spending a lot of time with him and slowly he started seeing her in another light. One he had no business seeing her in. He was supposed to be engaged to Keiko, but she pulled him to her like no other woman ever had before. Now as he stared at her face he knew he loved her. She made him forget everything when they were together. Time, place, feelings but now…

_Here we are, face to face_

_We forget time and place_

Botan smiled up at him and pulled his arms around her. "Hold me and don't let go" she whispered and felt his arms tighten around her. She sighed in contentment, but just as soon she sighed again in regret. He was going to go back to her tomorrow. They had just the rest of the afternoon and night to be together. Neither one had been able to bring themselves to tell Keiko about their affair and Botan knew he still loved her, but differently then how he loved her. She knew that he would be happy with Keiko, but it didn't stop the hurt of knowing their time was growing short.

_Hold me now, don't let go_

_Though it hurts and we both know_

The time they had left was going to pass by fast and they both knew it. "Botan there's someplace I want to show you." Yusuke said into her ear as he held her. She shivered at his breath on her ear and nodded slowly. She held out her hand and summoned her oar. Reluctantly she pulled away from his embrace and hopped on. As she elevated it she felt Yusuke hop on after her and then felt his arms wrap around her waist. Soon they gained altitude and were soaring in the skies of Makai. He directed her on where to go with out giving out the exact place they were going and after about half an hour he told her to land. As they got off and she sent her oar away he grabbed her hand and with a gentle tug led her into a clearing. It was late afternoon and the sky was slowly starting to change colors. The clearing was full of wild flowers and the sky made the whole thing look like a painting. "Oh Yusuke it's beautiful!" Botan gasped as he led her to a cliff and sat with her on the edge to watch as then sun set.

_The time we spend together's gonna fly_

_And ev'rything you do to me_

_Is gonna feel so right_

There under the stars of Makai they made love and Botan had to fight back the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. It was wonderful just like all of the other times, except this time she knew there was no way for her to not love him. He had taken her body and soul and she knew she'd never get them back. She didn't want them back. Her heart was his for all time and even if he was leaving her to go back to Keiko the next day at least they had the time they did no matter how short it was. Yusuke held her through the night and woke her up often. He knew how much she was hurting. He felt it to and it ripped out his heart to know that he was causing it. "I love you Yusuke." She whispered to him as they lay on the grass in the clearing.

_Baby, when you're loving me_

_I feel like I could cry_

_'Cause there's nothing I can do_

_To keep from loving you_

_No, no, no, no, no, no_

He could feel her heart beat and it was a comfort to him as he pulled her close for a kiss. It was a kiss meant to take her breath away and it did. He felt her tremble and held her tighter for a while. She sighed and laid her head on his shoulder. "I never knew before that kisses could feel like this. That love could feel like this. Thank you for showing me Yusuke." She slowly drifted off to sleep and once her breathing slowed and he knew she was sleeping he exhaled slowly and watched her. "You know I love you Botan. Damn if I could stay with you I would, but we both know that Keiko deserves better then this." He could feel the regret already start to build in his heart. Even though she was still here in his arms he could feel the regret at having to leave her.

_Here we are, all alone_

_Trembling hearts beating strong_

_Reaching out, a breathless kiss_

_I never thought could feel like this_

Damn how much he wanted the time to freeze. He stood by the portal to ninginkai. The portal that would take him back to Genkai's temple and the girl that had been waiting for him though the years. He didn't deserve her. She was so loyal to him and he had been unfaithful to her. But he loved her and couldn't hurt her. As he said good-bye to Botan as a lover and hello to her as a friend he felt the regret triple as he saw her chin tremble and her eye fill with tears. She blinked hard to fight them back, but one slipped out and his heart clinched tightly. "Don't cry love, please don't cry." He pleaded with her and she let out a sob and launched herself into his arms. He closed his eyes as he hugged her and once again the regret washed over him. "I'm sorry Yusuke. I was trying to be strong and trying not to cry, but it just came out." She said in between sobs. He didn't respond only rocked back and forth gently as he rubbed circles on her back. She knew every time after this when she closed her eyes she would feel his kisses. She knew each time she saw him she would remember their love making, their passionate words, their loving embraces. She knew she would always want him and knew there was nothing she could do to keep from loving him. She felt him pull back from the embrace and opened her eyes. When she looked at him he kissed her one final time. It was passionate and exotic, but at the same time loving and gentle. Their last kiss they would ever share. He could taste the salt from her tears. "Botan, I'll always love you." And with that he turned and walked to the portal. "I love you!" she called after him as tears ran down her face. He turned and waved to her and then he was gone. She stood there for a few minutes and just cried. When it felt like her knees where going to give out on her she summoned her oar and flew back to Rekai.

_I wanna stop the time from passing by_

_I wanna close my eyes and feel_

_Your lips are touching mine_

_Baby, when you're close to me_

_I want you more each time_

_And there's nothing I can do_

_To keep from loving you_

Once she was in her room having had to run there to avoid curious eyes she threw herself on her bed and cried. She would never love anyone else and she would never give herself to another. She couldn't, her heart would break if she did. She knew when they got involved that it would end eventually, she didn't expect to fall in love with him like she had. Sure she had liked him and been attracted to him, but he had always had Keiko, so that first kiss had surprised her. But she became addicted to them and soon it had grown to love. She knew he loved her too. It was strange that the love they had. It was passionate and loving, like a flame that just grew, but now the flame had been smothered. It was not completely gone, but it was buried deep inside of them. Despite all of this she would never regret their time together. He had taught her what love was and how to love. He had loved her and that was something she'd never let go of. She was helplessly in love with him and would always be. Soon she had cried herself to sleep.

_(Bridge:)_

_There's nothing I can do_

_I'm helpless in your arms_

_Baby, what you do_

_I'm in love, this is it_

_There's no turning back this time_

_No, no, no_

It was a month later when she got a call from Keiko. There was going to be a party. She and Yusuke had something to tell everyone. Botan felt her heart clinch as she agreed in her normal cheerful voice that she and Koenma would be there. She knew what the announcement was. Their official announcement of their engagement. He had told her it would happen soon after he came back. As Botan hung up the phone she sighed and blinked at the tears in her eyes. This was going to be hard and painful for her, but she had to go and show him she was alright. The last time she had seen him was when he had left Makai. They had been lovers then and now they would see each other as just friends. She washed her face and then left her room to tell Koenma about the party. He was the only one who knew about the affair she'd had with Yusuke. As she told him about the party he took in her swollen red eyes. "Are you sure you want to go?" he asked as he watched her. "Yes. I have to show him I'm alright and that it is okay. He was torn up about leaving me even though he didn't show it I know he was. We both knew he could never abandon Keiko. He will be happy with her Koenma. That is all I ask for, she would never hurt him and she will be there to take care of him." Koenma sighed and nodded his agreement to go to the party, if only to keep an eye on the deity and make sure she would be okay. His heart had been hers, yet she never knew and even if she'd never love him he'd make sure she would take care of herself and that she was okay.

_Here we are, once again_

_But this time we're only friends_

_Funny world; sometimes, lies_

_Become the game when love's the prize_

A week later Botan and Koenma arrived at the temple for the party. Botan had been quiet on the trip there and was now forcing herself to smile and talk as if everything was fine. She was talking with Shizuru and Yukina while Koenma was talking with Kurama and Kuwabara. She hadn't seen Yusuke yet and her nerves were on edge. Kuwabara chose that time to let out a loud laugh at something Koenma had said and it made her jump. Yukina noticed and looked at her with concern. "Are you alright Botan?" she asked touching her arm gently. "Yes Yukina I'm just fine." She said cheerfully. Just then the door opened and she heard his voice. "Okay okay were here the party can start now!" he shouted from the door. Botan felt her smile falter and the blood drain from her face a little before she could catch herself. Koenma was watching her from the corner of his eye and nodded approvingly as she forced on a smile as Keiko came in the room. She headed for the girls and hugged them. Her eyes were shining with happiness and Botan had seen the ring on her hand. Yusuke walked in and he halted at the sight. Botan was hugging Keiko and smiling for her. As they pulled apart and Keiko turned to greet Yukina he saw her smile fade a little. His heart was pounding in his chest as she finally looked at him. She smiled softly at him and walked over to greet him. "Hello Yusuke how have you been?" she stopped in front of him and didn't make a move to touch him. "I'm doing good. It's great to see you here. I'm glad both you and Koenma could make it." She nodded and smiled happily. "Yep well Keiko said you guys had something to tell us so of course we came." She chirped happily. He was searching her eyes and saw sadness there despite her smile and her attempt to be cheerful. "Anyways I'll talk to you later okay? I should go help Genkai in the kitchen with Yukina." She said and walked away before he could stop her. As soon as she turned the corner her smile fell and her shoulders drooped. She quickly walked into the bathroom and locked the door. Oh how she loved him. She sank to her knees and stayed there as her eyes filled with tears. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to come to a gathering so soon. ' No I have to show him I'm alright. I won't let him know how upset I am' she thought to herself as she stood up and squared her shoulders. She washed her face and went to the kitchen to help with the food. Her steps faltered as she rounded the corner and saw Yusuke in the kitchen. "Oh there she is Yusuke." Yukina said as she turned the corner. "Hey Botan I want to talk to you" he said as he took her hand and lead her outside.

_And though no one knows what's going on inside_

_And all the love I feel for you_

_Is something I should hide_

" Are you okay?" he asked as soon as the door shut behind them. "Of course Yusuke." She said as she flashed him a smile. "Stop that! Stop smiling and acting like everything is fine! I know your upset. Your smile doesn't reach your eyes! Botan I know you better then that!" she stopped smiling and stared at him. "Of course you do, but I'm fine. I'll be fine, besides I can't cry and frown on a day like today without anyone noticing. I am happy for you and Keiko, Yusuke, really I am. I know you are happy with her, I can see it in your eyes and I know she is happy it radiates off of her." She smiled at him and this time he could see it reach her eyes. "Go back to the party Yusuke, she is waiting for you." She heard him sigh as he turned and walked back inside. As soon as the door closed her smile fell. "You'll always have my heart Yusuke Urameshi. I can't keep from loving you." She whispered into the wind before she turned back to the temple.

_When I have you close to me_

_The feeling's so sublime_

_That there's nothing I can do_

_To keep from loving you_

It was after everyone had eaten that the announcement was made and as everyone hugged the newly engaged couple Botan smiled and felt happiness for them. Yusuke looked so happy and she smiled at him when he caught her eye. She hugged them laughing and congratulating them happily. Koenma watched as she hugged Yusuke and he saw the tears that filled her eyes before she closed them and fought them back. He also saw the brief tightening of Yusuke's arms before he let her go. As she hugged Keiko, Botan silently bid her love farewell. He would forever have her heart. She would love him and maybe someday in another life they'd be together again.

_No, no, no_

_Can't keep from loving you, baby_

_No, no, no_

_There's nothing I can do, my baby_

_Can't keep from loving you_


End file.
